Today should have been a great day but...

Today I woke up early and full of promise. Then I actually sat up in bed and between my hips, shoulders, knees, and even my fucking elbows my day pretty much ended right there. I hate how this sneaks up on me. I have laid around with the kids watching movies and trying not to whine too much. I managed to sew a ripped pillow but other than that I have been, and will probably continue to be, useless. I look at my piled up laundry, the dishes in the sink, and my messy living room and I just want to cry. I really hate this. I can't say that enough. I FUCKING HATE THIS!!!!!! I don't want to have to wake up and get out of bed to determine how productive my day will be. Don't get me wrong, Mark is home which is great, I have had fun with the kids but dammit I have too much stuff to do to be sitting on my ass desperately wanting to lay down with my heating pad. I am still trying to organize my to do list. There is a lot to do before we leave. Today I had planned on taking my van to go and vacuum it out. I have already pulled out all the mats and was going to steam clean them. I don't know maybe if I lay down for awhile and take a few more pills I will get up with a second wind and be able to do some of this stuff. My plan for today was to pull stuff out of the closets and decide what to list on the yard sale, get my van cleaned out, get my laundry folded and put away, get Kojiki's stuff ready for her new home, make dinner, and get my kitchen cleaned. It is 4:45 so I am seriously doubting dinner but maybe the rest of it isn't out of the question after a nap. I just don't know, and I hate not knowing.