Monday, August 2, 2010

What did that accomplish?

So I feel like shit. I don't know if it is the weather change or another sleepless fucking night but my body is aching and right now I just don't give a shit about anything. Was mistakenly excited about meeting with one of the hospital directors about my concerns with Dr. Bowes. What a waste of fucking time. In the ten minutes I was in his office he explained that sometimes providers just need to be reminded that they are treating people not disorders. Yeah, thanks. Isn't that in a manual some where? He told me that he would speak to his practioners at their monthly meeting about being more sensitive to a paitents needs. I don't need someone to hold my hand or kiss my ass but I don't need someone being a dick because he thinks I am an uninformed idiot either. That meeting accomplished nothing, it was merely a way to make me think they give a shit. They don't, they haven't, and they won't. I just wonder if it is really gonna be any different when we get back to the states. I asked the director to look into my EFMP status and he told me he would make some calls and get back to me but there was really no way to expedite it. I bet if I was some Generals wife with a fucking hang nail we would already be back in the states. GOD DAMMIT I FUCKING HURT! What am I supposed to do about it? How the fuck am I gonna live my life like this? Creeping up and down the stairs, dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that never gets folded, cringing everytime Alynna jumps on the couch next to me, depending on Gavin to help me with household chores and his sister. How the fuck do I be me in this fucking body? FUCK!

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