Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Today has been a pretty good day but...

Last night I went to be around 12:30 with a problematic migraine. At it's worst I was really just swallowing pills in the hope that something would help. I fell asleep feeling really nauseous but luckily I was able to get ahead of it and fall asleep. I woke up several times throughout the night with pain especially in my hips and shoulders and my head was still aching. My husband slept on the couch which made me feel really guilty. I hate that he has to pay for this too. I didn't wake up until almost 3 when my husband had to go to work. I was still really sore and shaky so I took a shower with my daughter but I had to do it sitting on a stool and had a hard time getting my arms above shoulder level to wash my hair. I have been shaky all day but my husband finally did the dishes so me and my daughter made cookies. Later on we are going to decorate them. She wants to go outside so we can water my flowers but I am still a little too shaky so I keep blowing her off. Good grief I feel like I am shorting everyone I love. I wish I felt better but it is almost time to take my meds again and I am hoping they help. Hate that I feel so guilty all the time. My family deserves so much better and sometimes I wonder why they love me considering how much I am unable to do. On a positive note my wonderful neighbor took my son to a beach this morning to look for sea shells. After bringing her two youngest home for a nap they left to take another trip to a beach where the kids can really get into the water and play. She is so terrific, I wish I was more like her. Her husband is deployed yet she gets up with three boys to take care of and still does stuff with them. I can't imagine not having my husbands help, more with three busy boys to take care of. Fuck, I feel so useless.

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